Posts Tagged ‘death’
On January 20th one of my older brothers died in his sleep. He was 47. It was unexpected and quite a shock to the family.
Robert was 6 years older than me and really is the person responsible for my love of heavy music. In the mid 70s I can remember him bringing home KISS’ Dressed to Kill and that is what started it off for me. From there it was Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, Alice Cooper, RUSH, Uriah Heep, Wishbone Ash and a slew of other bands in those years. It wasn’t all hard stuff though. He got me into the Rolling Stones, early Neil Young and Elton John as well. The Stones are my 2nd favorite band of all time behind Iron Maiden.
As we got older and he had moved out, I was able to get him into bands like King Diamond, Metal Church and some others.
Music was always our bond and even in these last few weeks, there are certain songs that I’ll hear that just remind me of him. I’m glad that I have that lifelong connection to him and his spirit.
I’ll always miss and love you, Robert. Even more than I have in recent years of not being able to see you.
I can’t thank you enough for helping me be who and what I am today.
When I was 10 I had some sort of vision, dream, sighting, whatever, that I would be dead by 40. It stuck in my head all these years. Since that year, I was never one to want to celebrate my birthday. One reason is because of the silly fanfare that comes with such things. I mean really, it is just another day. While I don’t celebrate, I always call my mom and thank her for having me.
I don’t mind celebrating other people’s birthdays. If they feel the need to make an event for it, I’m in. We humans are social creatures after all. This year I decided to throw myself a 40th birthday party. To be truthful I’m uncomfortable about the whole thing. I think it’s a bit narcissistic. I probably am to some degree anyway.
But to be honest, I really never did think I’d make it to 40. Well, it’s still 3 days away so there’s still time to not make it. If for some oddball reason I didn’t make it to forty, at least I’d die with no regrets. I’ve lived a pretty good life. Accomplished almost everything I ever wanted to. Lived and loved. It’s been a good run.
If I make it to Saturday (2/27), then I’ll have to come up with a new game plan. Especially with my 30s being a pretty incredible decade, the best one so far. I’ve always lived as if this day or week is my last. No matter what some silly vision I had 30 years says, today just could be the one. We have little control over that.
In the end, happy birthday to me. It’s been nice knowing you.
UP THE IRONS.