The Metal Files

So there we were, my band and I, at Robert’s house in Portsmouth, VA to watch Headbanger’s Ball as we always did every weekend. This was summer or late spring of 1988(?). It was the usual gamut of hard rock and metal videos…then there it was.

The “World Premier” of Guns ‘n’ Roses’ Welcome to the Jungle video.

W

T

F

?

All 4 of us sat quietly and watched it. I had assumed that they felt exactly the way that I did. I think I was the first one to speak at the end and said, “That sucked ass.” The rest of them completely disagreed. “Whaaaaat?!?! You’re crazy! That was the greatest thing I have ever heard!” etc…Then the words that burned my ears came next…”That’s the sound we need to go for.”

My soul died.

Granted, we weren’t the greatest band in town and we were playing some music that I didn’t care for, mainly the hair band stuff, but it didn’t matter because I was in a band with some of my closest friends. Our setlist included stuff from Cinderella, Def Leppard (from Hysteria), Whitesnake, Anthrax, Megadeth, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Dokken, Overkill, KISS, AC/DC, TSOL and I really don’t remember who else. We only had one original called Skeletons. I wanted to play more originals but we never got to it. There were always disagreements between our 2 guitarists. J. Rob was definitely into playing heavier music and Robert was more about the radio friendly stuff. Personally I wanted to play stuff like King Diamond, Fates Warning, Anthrax, Slayer etc…just soemthing much heavier than what we were doing.

But they all agreed about the GnR thing. Whereas I was sickened by what I heard and what I saw in that video, they were enthralled by it. Needless to say about a week or 2 later I was out of the band. “The band is breaking up” is what I was told. OK, no problem. But within a week or 2 after that I stopped over at the bassist’s house and heard music from the shed out back. I open the door and there’s J Rob, Robert and Don with another drummer. They all had a look of shock and guilt on their faces. I said, “Wow. OK. I get it.” I think it was J Rob that said, “Sorry man, you know how it goes.” I think I said something like, “Yeah man, I sure do. S’cool.” So I walked out, a little butt-hurt, ego deflated, sad and even felt a little betrayed.

Then they started playing as I walked across the yard to my truck and I think I heard the riff to either Sweet Child of Mine or Welcome To the Jungle…and a slight smile came across my face. I was a little relieved. In the end they did me a favor as I wasn’t cut out for wearing spandex and teasing up my already bad hair. There were no hard feelings and I’m still in touch with those guys, one of them is a very close friend of mine still…Don.

But to this day I still want to throw up when I hear GnR. It wasn’t so much the music that turned me off, it was that voice. That nasty terrible screech. I will admit that I saw them in 1991 (for free) with my friend Bronwyn. Skid Row opened up and they were GREAT. I have to say that GnR put on a good show and Axl is a good front man, but his voice is still one of the worst I have ever heard in rock.

I know people who knew them in their early days and most had the same opinion about them…”losers” and “one of the luckiest bands in LA”. Their words, not mine. But I can’t say I would disagree with their assertion. The mere sight of Axl Rose gets me a little aggro.

I’ve said since day 1 that they are my most hated rock band and I still feel that way after all these years. People call me a bandwagon GnR hater, but the truth is that I was the one driving that wagon since 1988.  To me the only good thing that came out of that band is Izzy Stradlin. I love his solo albums.

But whatever. Screw GnR. They suck. There. I said it. I feel much better.