The Metal Files

You know, I like being hit on as much as the next guy…but there are times like today when it’s not so great.

So I went to Waffle House for lunch. I also went last week for lunch and it was full of non-white girls working and they were nice, courteous, orderly, funny. Today was like a different world. All white women who look as is they’d been rode hard and put up wet. The one who waited on me was outwardly flirting with me. I was one of 2 customers in the place. It made me a little uneasy, especially when she smiled. The girl had some major teeth issues going on. She was pretty relentless and I tried to ignore her as much as possible. I inhaled my eggs and hash browns as fast as I could and got the hell out. A different toothless girl rang me up and was asking me a bunch of questions. “Where did you get that ring?” “Are you a biker?” “Do you live nearby?” It was insane. I was totally uncomfortable. That’s not a normal feeling for me.

Maybe today was payback for all of my flirting. I do it a lot. Really. A LOT.

On the bright side, my waitress had a really nice ass. At least it was nice while it was all wrapped up in her pants. Probably not so much if that beast ever got loose.

Run to the hills!